zoombeautiful

amidst my own languor bred from continuous mind and body examples of the complete irrelevance of me. if one less voice is heard, if one less smile is seen, what difference can it make? i hear an inkling tingling song of exotic pacific ocean meandering musings on the hundredth monkey having sex with a casual tourist, who sees the opalescent blue, green, gold, black butterfly and then stays long enough to experience the engendered typhoon. i dated a guy from india and he was all about "we are everything and we are nothing" in a thick tongue heavy accent, almost guttural but not quite, so i thought about that for awhile and i think i get what it means. but what he lived, in his daily life, was that some people are worth more than others and we should pay deference to them because they will defend their rights even unto the death of us. not only will the people who feel superbly worthy quite happily reject the humanity of people who they believe to be less worthy but it works the other way too; people who feel themselves to be less worthy quite calmly deny their "superiors" any superior qualities at all. we are each others' slaves upwards and downwards.

i wanted to escape the grid, find a way of living that wasn't hooked in to every little sway this way and that of fashion magazines and radio, tv and now the internet. go here, go there, feel this way or that... be sensational or be sensationalized but in any case it's all ok as long as you are pushed outside your core to the extremest points of self-exploitation and conspicuous consumption.

question: are you bisexual?

diana: not at all.

question: my friend said that all people are really bisexual.

diana: gee, that's a pretty broad generalization. how many people alive on the planet right now? 6,799,305,437 - that's today. who knows, in the far future that number might look incredibly large or incredibly small. it's such a mystery what's coming so it's even more mysterious thinking about how we can prepare for a future we can't imagine.

question: sometimes i think i can see into the future pretty clearly. not for myself, but a sort of general planetary vision.

diana: and which vision do you see? the one where there's lots more people or a lot fewer?

question: actually, population was never something i thought much about when i was thinking of the future.

diana: what were you thinking about?

question: sex mostly.

diana: another aspect to the population problem.

they laugh.