help

hello world, was what i couldn't say. i had no way from the inside of me to the outside. the length of that distance kept me immobile. at least that's how i felt. i felt like i couldn't communicate and i couldn't move. everyone told me i was moving around maybe too much and i communicate as well as anyone basically. but not from inside. the view from inside was different. i could feel my love for this or that, my willingness to take part... or the opposite, my resistance, or distance i wanted to be from someone or some event and in neither case could i achieve my desires. my desires kept living alongside my reality for what seemed like forever and then people seemed to want me to give up my shadow self and then i finally, slow-wittedly, weakly, began to wander away from the death that was overtaking me.