well, this is the last day of not-doing. i am breathless and filled with unrealistic fears, breathe out, breathe out...

tomorrow i'll be allowed to answer questions. apparently, since i am still undergoing my trial, i'm not allowed to say whatever i want, there will be censorship. but, hey, why not? maybe that's better really, maybe it's good to have some control over our psyche's outpourings.

'tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps at such a petty pace'

tempus fugit

into a new year

What can you tell me about money that would be a surprise? Can you tell that's what we're arguing about now? the negotiations drag on. Blah and Blah but not Blah minus three hundred million tri-blahs from Norway. omg. I wasn't born. I'm just sneaking this in, honestly, i can't wait to start this blasted thing but my manager says i shouldn't sell myself short, though what my height has to do with it, i can never understand. But she gets frustrated, flustered and red in the face and she always gets like that when something is really important to her. So - well, why not? if she cares that much, i can hang. But we aren't born where i'm from, we are conceived and then we slowly appear, manifest into existence, it's hard to explain and they don't think you care where i'm from or how we do things, they said that you'd want to know how to help yourselves. This is a big self-help planet, they said. But it helps me to get some of it out because sometimes i think i'm imagining it and if i say it, or write it, or whatever this is - then it's, well, it remains more real to me. not a solitary fantasy but a shared reality. So i like seeing the differences, especially as regards ownership and stuff like contracts. i think, because you all come out of a woman's body, you have a thing about bodies and who is who and which is what and how. it's not like that with us. on the other hand, we have the same, or really similar, emotional qualities, the same emotions are available to us - we don't use them exactly the way you use them here.