ebb and flow

my mother was always searching for a truth that she could look up. when in doubt, what do i do? because she had lost touch with her inner dialogues and had no connections to spontaneous emotions. she had controlled herself in order to gain position and power and the price was the loss of her connection to her organic self. she rotted from the inside out. and as she did, she became a heavier user of perfume. but nothing could hide the scent of her deterioration. nothing.